OK, all checks are in the mail. My CC balance will be ZERO very soon. I still want to put $1,000 in my ING but want to let everything clear. I am struggling with a budget-- mainly how to handle food. I will have $882 after all bills are paid. I want to pay an extra $300 to this loan principle, so that leaves $582. What I struggle with is estimating, planning out meals, and sticking to a budget while shopping. I mean, what happens when you see stuff you know you need but forgot to list? And I do understand the difference between "needing" a new measuring cup and needing laundry soap. I am talking about real needs. I suppose the answer is to get better about making lists.

Anyway, I don't know what I spend on food so I have no idea what to budget. I went to the grocery store yesterday and spent $160!! Sometimes I go a few times a week and spend $25-$80 each time.

The awesome news for me financially is that this extra $882 a month is at 60% of my salary. When I return to work I plan to put an extra $600 towards my principle because I want this paid off in no more than 3 years.

I am off to hunt for tips on groceries and budgeting on other blogs.

Moving Right Along

I am finally starting to see some money and I have it all planned out. Credit cards will be paid off 100%, $1,000 is going to my ING account, I am investing a bit in the house for much needed maintenance, roughly $600 to one of my Roth's, and the remainder will go to the HEL. While I don't have a concrete plan for paying down the HEL, I am going to put what I can spare towards it for now. When I return to work I will have at least an additional $500 per month for it. The actual payment is $300 a month at about 7%.

I am closing my mastercard as soon as the payment is cleared. The Amex card was shredded long ago and they never mail those checks. The Visa is my longest standing account and would seriously damage my FICO to close. Since I can use my debit card as a Visa I should be fine with no credit cards, so I will shred that also.

Now that I know my income for the time being I will work on a budget today. I may need to pay April's mortage in advance since the disability pays in arrears. The good thing is that right now I have the cash to pay stuff in advance. I think all I really need to do for a budget is decide on an amount for groceries and food.

Looking Up

So my claim is approved, at least for now. They do reserve the right to ask for the money back if they find that I was treated for this before (or something). Fortunately, I had never even heard of this condition until August and really didn't yet have all the symptoms that go with it, so I should be OK.

LTD pays in arrears monthly, so that might be a little tough. Fortunately, I am current now and have 1.5 months coming to me, so I should be OK. I haven't seen my bonus check yet and I am starting to think that my boss has it. Usually we would do a review to see how the bonus was calculated and what goals I hit/missed, etc. Even though I would not mind sitting down with her and I have been working somewhat via helping coworkers, technically they cannot ask me to work. It would totally screw up my disability status if I did anything at all. All my pay is for non-worked hours, so there's no way HR can knowingly expect me to do any work. I guess I will have to email my boss and see what's up and how I will get my check. Still putting off the budget until I know what's coming to me, but I do have a template started with expenses. Also, taxes on insurance money are crazy. I have to give them a dollar amount to deduct and that only covers fed. I will owe state and OASDI probably (unless I can get back to work soon).

I am moving forward with the HEL. I have weighed all my options and this makes sense for me. We hit a snag when they threw in some points, but I threatened to walk and the points went away. Yay! I need to see if I can get the cc companies to STOP mailing me those blank checks. I typically don't use them, but since I will completely cut off access to these accounts (shred cards, remove from paypal, etc), that's still an option to spend and I don't want it. I am closing one cc for sure, but the other 2 would severely damage my credit rating to close. This is not one of my weaknesses and I know I can have an open account and not abuse it. Plus, I make more money now than I ever have and I don't need to rely on credit. I do need to put every cent to this HEL to pay it off ASAP. I currently contribute 10% to my 401k and i would like to increase that. Reading through all of these blogs I have found is so damn inspiring. I wish I was as disciplined as some of you! But I can feel it rubbing off on me and I can't wait to feel more in control.

Road Block

So, I had to go out of town unexpectedly for a family emergency. I was great with using my check card for EVERYTHING. And it backfired. I forgot that I was waiting for a check that came via mail rather than direct deposit. And I could not deposit it while I was out of town. I found myself 700 miles from home with $7 in checking and not all charges cleared. Yikes! I am afraid to check my account today to see the damage. I was able to make a deposit when I got in (at midnight) but I am afraid that some things posted during the day. There were NO local branches where I was so I couldn't make a deposit until I got home. In an effort to NOT use credit I wound up tapping my credit for about $700 and charged all my gas home. Not to mention what kind of fees the bank will hit me with.

Still no word from long-term disability and if I will get paid or not. That means I have to hold my bonus money in case I need it for the mortgage next month.

Oh, to be working again.

Spending

Dog's nails- $9

Lunch- $3.25

Lunch for my niece- $5

Spending money for my niece- $5

Gas- $37

Groceries- $82

Not too bad for the whole week. My niece is my weak spot. Not that she asks for a lot but I don't see her often and my sister struggles. I usually give her a few dollars and take her shopping when she needs stuff.

I still need to get some links posted and I'd like a debt counter also. I am finding so many new blogs and it's very inspiring. It turns out that am eligible for my 2006 bonus so i have a couple thousand dollars coming. Since long-term never called me with an update i am not sure what's up with my claim. I will hang on to my bonus for April's mortgage in case things don't improve. If i am getting paid by then i will use my whole bonus for debt.

I ran into a snag with the home equity loan and some points that weren't disclosed. I am not so sure that i will sign the papers-- need to do some more comparison shopping. I need to read up on negotiating loans to see if i can do any better.

Downers Grove, IL

I have been having pretty odd dreams lately, but last night was a record. I woke up in the middle of the night with Downers Grove, IL in my head. I have never heard of this place before but for some reason it was very important to remember it. I grabbed my blackberry and typed it in under an existing memo. Sure enough, when i woke up i could not recall the name and i wasn't sure if i had really woken up or just dreamed it. There is was in the blackberry. I googled it and it's a real place, though it has no meaning at all.

It just seems logical that i must have heard the name recently but i have no idea where. I also had a pretty intense dream about my family, my sister and i were having a very bad fight with my mother. I was losing my mind on her about abusing us, but she never did in real life. Well, no more than any other kid got hit in the 70's and 80's. It was scary how real the whole thing was and how pissed off i was-- more than i have ever been in real life.

It's funny how real life affects dreams. I just wish i knew what it all meant. I'm going to freak if something real happens involving Downers Grove.

My Story

As I read other blogs and how some are able to pay debt down by thousands by selling on ebay, I get a little discouraged. I will be lucky if I have $200. I know, I know—every little bit helps and I still plan to sell what I can. Unfortunately, the money I make may need to go towards my current bills as I still have no income. Most of my debt didn’t come from spending, although about 10k did (and that's a problem). 3 years ago we found out my partner had cancer. It was very sudden, found during surgery so we had no time to adjust. The chemo that followed threw us out of whack financially. We weren’t doing so well either with all the stress. I realize we are very, very fortunate to have insurance and the means to afford treatment, but it’s still financially draining. So, I incurred a lot of debt there and in the following 2 years where my income was all we had. We made about the same, so to lose half of your annual income is quite an adjustment. But we made good money with relatively little debt and no kids, so it was manageable. Then came my surgery. Again, I know I am fortunate to have the means to have this surgery, but it didn’t come cheap. I also had no idea that I would not be working 5 months later. Having another surgery really concerns me because I keep thinking “what if”. The first surgery was supposed to cure all and it didn’t, so what if this one doesn’t either? I have done the same job my whole life and worked my way up to a decent position. If I cannot continue to work in the same field, I will probably have the potential to earn maybe half of what I do now. As I try to find ways to make cuts I realize that I am pretty frugal already. I use suave shampoo, shop by unit price and buy in bulk, buy what’s on sale (usually) at the grocery store, shop at Old Navy mainly, no hand bags or designer shoes at all (I don’t even carry a purse), get my hair cut at The Hair Cuttery.

The biggest problem is that I need to learn that if I don’t have cash then I can’t afford it. That includes groceries, dog food, and gas. A lot of those habits I picked up when struggling with 1 income and all the medical bills, but that makes no difference. Debt is debt. Even if I had donated 23k to the SPCA, it’s still debt that needs to be repaid.

I think what I will do for now is organize what I have to sell, take pics, research, etc. I’ll put listing on hold until I find out what’s up with long-term—she is supposed to let me know this week. I have the money to pay March’s mortgage and should be ok for the other bills as well. I still have sick and vacation time I can use for April’s bills if things haven’t improved by then. I haven’t spent any money this week but when I do I will track it here. In the meantime I am having fun reading all the blogs out there and getting to know you all. It’s great to know there is so much support out there.